The Needle Of Fire...

As I was giving the first of my MANY injections last night I was dreading my first shot, the Gonal F Pen..The needle was tiny, maybe 1/2", but the thought of stabbing myself in my lower abdomen terrified me..Could I really do this, I thought to myself?  Was I strong enough to stop being scared and stick the needle in...So here I go...ONE...TWO...THREE...NOPE!  I can't do this, I said over and over, and then finally I stopped thinking, squinted my eyes, pinched my skin and in it went...so smooth!  Wow, that was easy and completely painless I thought to myself! I couldn't figure out what all of the fuss was about.

So, with my somewhat cocky, confident attitude, I mixed up my next injection for the night...the Menopur, and as the needle went in I felt a sharp BURNING sensation and out of my mouth poured a fountain of profanities that I didn't even know were in my vocabulary.  I have since named this injection, "The Needle Of Fire,"  and it is my least favorite medication, thus far!

Like many other things in my life, every day of my egg donation, I must remind myself of my "why"...that sounds familiar doesn't it?  My "why" for my egg donation is a different "why" than the one I have for taking control of my health & life a little over 6 months ago, but in every endeavor I pursue in my life I must always have a strong "why" that will remind me every day why I am sticking the needle of fire, as I like to call it into my lower abdomen.

I am doing this, so that someone out there in the world, someone who is longing to be a parent, can do so.  I am in no way shape or form the "parent" of this child, but I also know that this child or children will change the world in some small way!  I am a firm believer that everybody is placed on this earth for some reason, and every person's life has meaning!  Every experience I have in my life teaches me something, and so far I have already done so much learning about myself during this process.  I am learning to be selfless, which sometimes, I have a hard time doing.  I will admit it, I have my moments where I can be extremely selfish, but there is no room for that in my donation..I am just so blessed, I truly feel I am with 100% of my being.

I have an appointment for blood work & ultrasounds on Tuesday morning, to check and see how many eggies are in there so far, so I will of course update then!

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XOXO,