Niantic, CT Christmas Light Parade

As I told you all in a past post, I am going to start living my life and sharing a lot more of my experiences with all of you!

Last night Jamie & I attended the Niantic, CT light parade with my Grampa & JoAnn, My sister Bretta & her fiancé Adam, as well as JoAnn's daughter Colleen and her awesome 8 year old daughter Morgan!  This night was such a true reminder of what the holidays are all about...and what life is all about!  It was also my sisters 24th birthday..Happy Birthday Bretta!

We started off the event by heading an hour and a half south to Niantic, CT...which for those of you who don't know is right on the ocean coast in CT and its a very beautiful, peaceful community, a place I have always enjoyed!  We enjoyed watching some ice sculpture art before heading back to my Grampa's house, which is just a short walk away from the downtown setting!  We enjoyed some hot cocoa and great conversation before walking back downtown to find a spot where we could nestle in to watch the light parade!

I enjoyed the walk back with my new friend, Morgan, who might I add is such a wise little 8 year old goal..we spoke about her goals, of becoming a surfer, and how much we loved milkshakes and dancing and music.  She told me about her school field trip to see an orchestra and about how much she enjoys dancing and singing in her school's chorus.  She told me, "If we don't have goals, how will we know what we are working towards?".  I could have sat and spoken with Morgan for hours and hours, her little mind full of some very wise thoughts.  We spoke about how you keep the good people in your life (the nice friends) and how you stay away from the bad ones, she even sang me a song about finding good friends.  I learned a lot from this 8 year old little girl last night, and realized that, this is how I want to raise my children to be, one day.  It was like talking to a fellow like minded adult.  It brings me almost to tears to think about how a little girl can tell me something like this, but I know adults who can not even fathom what it is like to be truly happy!!

Once we got back to downtown, we found a great, central spot where we could watch the parade and the fireworks.

The light parade was spectacular, this community really went above and beyond for this event!  Floats that sang, moved, even some that were over 15 feet tall!  One of my favorite parts was watching all of the children in the dance troupes and sports teams come by.  I had been in parades as a child and it was always a very exciting time when the community comes together to celebrate you and the holiday season!

 

After the parade ended, we walked back to my Grampa's house and sat and enjoyed each others company for a bit to warm up before we headed back home.  We laughed about the thick RI accents that Jamie and My Grampa share and joked about memories from the past.

I had a really wonderful time last night with my family and plan to make this an annual tradition with my family and the family I plan to start soon.  I will be bringing my children to this parade for many many years to come!

Thanks for reading loves!

XOXOX,

Distilled Water & Why My Tastebuds Want To Cry..

Today marks Day 1 of my ultimate reset journey..I woke up, feeling exhausted from lack of sleep last night, but packed away my meals for the day all perfectly portioned out into containers, packed my Oxygenize, Alkalinize, & Soothe, grabbed my GALLON of water..and out the door I went!  

As I poured my first glass of distilled water, I was excited to try this amazing and pure water that I had heard about and before I knew it, i took a sip and cringed..how could water taste this awful?

So I did some research online to see if I was just abnormal or if this water truly did not taste right and I found this...

Myth: Distilled water taste "funny" or "flat taste"

"There are many reasons why people think that distilled water tastes "funny" or "flat". The main reason is that distilled water is very different than what they have been used to drinking. When people are used to drinking water with fluoride, chlorine, or iron, their sense of taste gets used to this type of water. When drinking distilled water for this first time, with nothing in the water to masked the true taste, it takes the taste buds time to get used to the new clean taste.

Another reason for the "funny" taste is from store bought water in plastic bottles. In order to keep costs down, bottled water suppliers use cheap plastic materials to store the water. It has been found that some of these plastics have been known to leach methyl chloride into the water which gives off a "plastic" taste.

Also a possible factor is the distillation process itself. In simple distillation, volatile organic compounds and some gases may be carried over into the distilled water which causes a "funny" taste. These distillation systems use carbon filters or other processes to reduce VOCs and gases, but such elimination is seldom complete (see next myth). 

Once used in cooking and drinking water, most people find distilled water tastes delicious and improves the taste of food."

So I guess it is just me..haha I decided to drink it with tea and add a little lemon and that helped!  I am thinking that over the next week my tastebuds should stop crying and start adapting to what water should really taste like.

Have a fabulous Tuesday!

XOXO,

What an eye opener!! Time to get back on track!

Time for a bit of a wake up call...During my egg donation, yes I gained weight, yes some of the weight I gained was from hormone injections and from my moderate OHSS that I got post donation and there was truly nothing I could do to keep that from happening.  However,  the rest of the weight was my fault.  I used my donation as an excuse to not work out (I could have walked up until a few days before my retrieval) and I used my donation as an excuse to not follow my clean eating, I had cravings, but I could have just said NO!  So here I am, about a month post retrieval and I have lost some of the weight that I gained, but I am still about 10 pounds heavier than I was before my retrieval.  I worked out 4-5 days a week for the past 2 weeks, before deciding that my body needs a RESET!  So here I am on Monday, preparing myself to start My Ultimate Reset Journey tomorrow.  I am both very nervous & very excited and plan to post daily to keep you all in the loop of what this is going to do for my health both mentally and physically.

This morning I took my pre reset measurements, which was a huge eye opener for me, since I gained inches from my last set of measurements on almost every part of my body.  So here they are:

Pre Reset Measurements:

Weight: 152
Waist: 38
Hips: 40
Chest: 39
Right Arm: 12
Left Arm: 12
Right Thigh: 25
Left Thigh: 24

I also have a very high body fat percentage.  To give you an idea of my body type-since people generally ask me for height, age, etc.  I am 22 years old, I am 5'1" and I have a very large chest (36DD that I am hoping to lose a lot of inches in as well).

My goals are not necessarily based on the number on the scale, although a large drop in that number would be great!  I am going on the Beachbody Success Club Cruise on March 24th and I would really love to be able to wear a bikini confidently, so that I do not feel self conscious on the trip that I earned for my boyfriend and I.  I would love to be able to buy a bikini top that fits, those of you who also have large busts know that this is one of the most frustrating things to buy, along with bras.  I am hoping to feel rejuvenated and rested, since lately I wake up still feeling exhausted...

Prior to my start date for the reset tomorrow I did have to do some planning, which I will tell you a bit more about in case you too, are planning on starting the reset soon!

I had to go grocery shopping, at multiple stores, to find all of the fabulous nutritionally dense foods that I will be eating on the reset, yes i said it, EATING!  You eat...ALOT on the reset!  This is not one of those starvation cleanses, because lets be real...I LOVE TO EAT!  So I am all stocked up on things like 1 gallon of distilled water for every day of the reset, coconut oil, and among other things lots of fresh produce that I buy at my local farmers market every week!  I highly recommend buying produce at your local farms or farmers market's as well, not just for the reset, but all of the time, I love supporting local businesses.

I will be posting before/after pictures on Day 21, which will be December 24th so keep your eyes posted, and please subscribe to my blog and follow me on my social media sites so that you can learn all about my ultimate reset journey!

Here is a great video that explains what the reset is all about:
http://www.beachbodycoach.com/esuite/home/ckimmel?bctid=1534876093001

If you would like to purchase an ultimate reset kit, you can do so here: www.myultimatereset.com/ckimmel





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XOXO,

Step outside of your comfort zone, the magic happens there!

Good Morning Lovely Readers...if you even exist..

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about how small my world really is.  Now, before you tell me how large the world truly is, lets chat for a minute about MY world.  My world is small because I have not allowed it to expand itself into other places outside of my comfort zone.

What is my comfort zone you ask, my comfort zone is that small little hole in the world where ordinary happens and i eat the same food, listen to the same music, talk to the same people, and do the same things..day after day!  But that is all about to change!  I have made a decision, in my head, as i often do without putting it down on paper to hold myself accountable. I made the decision to expand my horizons and start experiencing everything possible.  I only get to live 1 time, and far too often I see lives get cut way too short, and people never truly get to live.

My favorite quote is from Oscar Wilde, "To live is the rarest thing in the world.  Most people just exist, that is all."  This quote has come into my life when its been needed the most and I want to start practicing this idea that I say all of the time.  I want to start LIVING!

Here is my vow:  I, Chelsey Kimmel, vow to LIVE freely, happily, and to my highest expectation.  I vow to take every experience that is given to me, as a gift!  Whether it be something I have always wanted to experience, or maybe have not ever!  I vow to travel and immerse myself into other cultures and learn about how other people live.  I vow to blog about all of my new experiences...because my life starts NOW!


I hope you all will join me on this journey outside of the borders of my comfort zone and I hope you all will do something outside of yours!  I would love to hear about all of your adventures!


XOXO,

My Puppy Smells Like Poo!

There is no blog post to go along with this picture...since it speaks for itself!

This is my dog, Mazy! 

A Post Retrieval Post..

On thursday I had my retrieval..and yesterday when I woke up my abdomen was extremely distended and hurt..ALOT!  I looked..and still look...about 5 months pregnant..

I tried to rest a lot yesterday, since my doctor told me when she called, that feeling bloated and sore is completely normal with the amount of eggs that were retrieved (31).  I have been drinking Gatorade and resting for over 48 hours now and am still in pain.  My stomach still looks like this and I can not get comfortable..sitting, laying,standing...nothing feels good!  I am having a hard time walking upright, since the pressure in my abdomen is so strong.

My weight is still high(8 pounds more than it was the day before my retrieval).  I also have started feeling feverish and achey so I took my temperature, and have a fever of 99.8, I know it's not too high, but it has me slightly concerned.  I was going to call my doctor to see if this is normal but they are closed for the day, I could call the on call MD but I have decided to wait a bit longer and see how I feel.  I am going to take more Tylenol, even though it is not helping with the pain, it might help with the fever..although I'm not sure if I should take the Tylenol or monitor the fever without it..

Up until this point my experience had been pretty positive, and now I am second guessing my choice to donate again..I am still in a lot of pain and the pressure in my abdomen seems to have no relief.

:(

I hope I find some relief soon..

Retrieval Day Review :)

It is about 5:00 pm on Thursday, October 31st, Halloween!!

I am just about waking up from the in and out partial nap I took after  I got home from my egg retrieval this morning.  I'd like to give you all a breakdown of what my day looked like today, for anyone curious about the day of procedures...

First a quick recap of what the past month or so looked like for me: 3 weeks of BC pills(bled everyday) then 2 weeks of injections(2x/day) & then a trigger shot Tuesday night, Oh, and a car accident last night to top it all off. :)

So this morning...

5:00am: woke up from the most excruciating pain in my ovaries-think severe period cramps x100.  I was in tears and could barely walk the pain was so unbearable.  I took a shower & tried to relax, A nice cup of tea might have helped, but no liquid/food was allowed in my system after midnight last night.

6:30am:  6:30 seemed to take forever to come, as I sat in the living room, trying to get comfortable, and filling with anxiety, I finally heard my boyfriends alarm clock go off.  He was awake, half groggy and getting ready to hit the road for our 2 hour drive to the clinic, just outside of Boston.  As we got on the road the pain seemed to get worse and worse, every dip in the road, every bump caused shooting pain through my lower abdomen.  The 2 hour car ride, seemed to take forever and all I wanted to do was get out of the car and get some pain medications in my system.

8:30am: Finally, we were there, I started shaking from nerves as we walked into the clinic and were greeted by the receptionist..Upstairs we went to where they perform the egg retrievals.  I was feeling brave so I told Jamie, that he could sit in the waiting room, as I went in.  But when I walked in it hit me like a wall of bricks and the tears started flowing, so as quickly as I entered, I turned around and walked right out to get Jamie & bring him in with me.  Luckily, every other woman in there was joined by their significant other so i didn't feel so awkward, and we were not all donors...in fact, I'm pretty sure I was the only donor in the room since, the walls were just curtains I could hear all of the other couples speaking to each other about their dreams of babies, and it made me feel really great about what I was doing.  The nurse came in, introduced herself, put my IV in(I was already dehydrated & had a low grade fever).  I then met briefly with my anesthesiologist & doctor.

9:30am: 9:30 rolled around and it was time to head into the room where my retrieval would be done.  I walked into a room straight out of a movie, bright light shining right into where the doctor would be working & a mixture of nurses and doctors filled the room(about 4).  They helped me get situated on the table and the last thing I remember was my anesthesiologist telling me that he gave me some relaxation medications, my face felt tingly, so I asked if that was normal and then I was out.  I did not feel a thing during the retrieval.

10:00am:  I woke up in my recovery room in excruciating pain, crying a lot.  The pain was indescribable!!  I was told by the nurses that they were going to get Jamie and that I was crying and asking for my dog (mazy) I don't know why I was calling for Mazy, maybe because she is who I go to for comfort normally.  They gave me some pain medications through my IV and i instantly felt better.  It took me about 15-20 minutes to fully wake up and they told me that they retrieved 31 eggs! WOW!! They said that was a lot, and they were thrilled.  I was excited too, 31 eggs means that 4-5 families will get them, and hopefully all will conceive.  I donated to a frozen egg bank this time so I will not know who gets them or if they are successful, but I hope they are successful and I hope these families are grateful, although I'm sure they will be...

It is about 5:00pm and I am home now with some egg donation day gifts from my amazing boyfriend and his love and support by my side.  I have no regrets so far about this donation, although I am still in pain, so we will see how I recover over the next few days!



Thank you for reading about my day & learning about my egg donation!  Please, remember, if you have any questions please comment below or feel free to add me on Facebook.  As of today, I plan on donating again, so we will see where my life goes...I am definitely planning on taking a few months off though.  This experience has been truly rewarding, but also mentally, physically, and emotionally draining as well.

XOXOXO,

Needles, Bruises, and Giant Ovaries...OH MY!

So I have been logged out of social media and "work" for about a week now and I feel awful!!
Here is a quick update on what's going on in my life..

I am on day 7 of my egg donation cycle, and have my second cycle appointment tomorrow to check on how my cute little eggies are developing..

So i had my first appointment following the start of my medications(10/18) on Tuesday (10/22) where I had an ultrasound and some blood work.  My estrogen levels were at 144 which is exactly what they wanted.  They told me that I had alot of follicles on both my right and left ovaries with one measurable follicle at 9.4 in my left ovary.  They increased my Menopur injections to 150 units(previously 75 units) and have me continuing my Gonal F injections as 150 units.

My belly is a bit sore from all of the needles..and I have started to bleed a little bit after the Menopur injections, and bruise a little bit, as well.

Tomorrow I have an appointment for another ultrasound and bloodwork to see how my eggs are developing and im hoping for a retrieval date of Tuesday or Wednesday of next week.. YAY! 

My biggest concern is not being sedated enough and feeling the procedure.  Every step in this process I have psyched myself up for and made myself think that it was going to be much worse than it actually was, so hopefully my procedure will be the same thing.  So far everything has gone pretty smooth, up until now I have hardly any ovarian pain, and today it is much worse..think severe period cramps, but a little different.

I am still so excited and blessed to be able to give this gift to someone and through the needles and bruises and soreness..I just keep thinking about what an amazing gift I am giving.  I am so pleased with this process so far that I am already working with an agency for my future donations..They emailed me today to ask me when my retrieval is so that they can get started on adding me to the system.

I am planning on doing an open donation next time, to give it a more personal feeling.  I am super grateful and lucky to have such a supportive group, WAED, during this cycle as well as an amazing partner to help me when im feeling awful.  He has been bringing surprises home to me every few days to brighten my mood.

Please consider your support system if you are ever considering donating..In my opinion it is one of the most important things.  I could not do what I have done with this man right here!!!  

Thanks for reading, loves. Don't forget to follow me on: FACEBOOK!

XOXOX,

The Needle Of Fire...

As I was giving the first of my MANY injections last night I was dreading my first shot, the Gonal F Pen..The needle was tiny, maybe 1/2", but the thought of stabbing myself in my lower abdomen terrified me..Could I really do this, I thought to myself?  Was I strong enough to stop being scared and stick the needle in...So here I go...ONE...TWO...THREE...NOPE!  I can't do this, I said over and over, and then finally I stopped thinking, squinted my eyes, pinched my skin and in it went...so smooth!  Wow, that was easy and completely painless I thought to myself! I couldn't figure out what all of the fuss was about.

So, with my somewhat cocky, confident attitude, I mixed up my next injection for the night...the Menopur, and as the needle went in I felt a sharp BURNING sensation and out of my mouth poured a fountain of profanities that I didn't even know were in my vocabulary.  I have since named this injection, "The Needle Of Fire,"  and it is my least favorite medication, thus far!

Like many other things in my life, every day of my egg donation, I must remind myself of my "why"...that sounds familiar doesn't it?  My "why" for my egg donation is a different "why" than the one I have for taking control of my health & life a little over 6 months ago, but in every endeavor I pursue in my life I must always have a strong "why" that will remind me every day why I am sticking the needle of fire, as I like to call it into my lower abdomen.

I am doing this, so that someone out there in the world, someone who is longing to be a parent, can do so.  I am in no way shape or form the "parent" of this child, but I also know that this child or children will change the world in some small way!  I am a firm believer that everybody is placed on this earth for some reason, and every person's life has meaning!  Every experience I have in my life teaches me something, and so far I have already done so much learning about myself during this process.  I am learning to be selfless, which sometimes, I have a hard time doing.  I will admit it, I have my moments where I can be extremely selfish, but there is no room for that in my donation..I am just so blessed, I truly feel I am with 100% of my being.

I have an appointment for blood work & ultrasounds on Tuesday morning, to check and see how many eggies are in there so far, so I will of course update then!

And if you would like to follow my daily updates, please follow me on my facebook page!

XOXO,

It's ANNOUNCEMENT time!!

So who remembers this post from my facebook page about 2 months ago??

I was working at a 9-5 office job where I was overworked and underpaid and full of anxiety & stress..

Sound familiar?  Well I have an announcement for you guys, something that I finally after a month shared with my facebook family, but now its time to share it with all of you! It's official!  I am a full time beachbody coach, & at 21 years old I have retired from the corporate world and am the proud owner of my own business!

If you are interested in learning more about how I made this dream a reality, please feel free to add me on facebook!!  I love connecting with people and sharing my story!

XOXO,

A Surprise Package..

Good Morning Loves,

I know it has been a while since I made a post, things have been a little hectic and I try to keep my updates up on my Facebook page so please feel free to follow me there too! :)

So here is a quick update on my egg donation!

Last Friday I received a GIANT package delivered to my front door, a nice perk of being an egg donor through my clinic...Full of Syringes, Alcohol Swabs, A Sharps Container, Ice Packs, & An assortment of fertility drugs just waiting to be injected into my poor belly..

Tomorrow I go for my egg suppression check which will hopefully come back the way they want and I will be starting my injections soon! I am ancy to get started partly because my fridge has a drawer full of fertility drugs that I would like to fill with food instead and partly because I am excited to get this cycle going. :) Most people would not be excited about the physical process of egg donation, and it would be a lie if I told you I wasn't scared, but for me this is more of an emotional and spiritual journey! I will be giving someone the most amazing gift that I could give anybody, in my opinion!

I'm curious, how many of you have either been an egg donor or thought of being one?What is your biggest question for me about egg donation!  I love answering questions!! 

XOXO,

Finding My Faith..

For some reason I always feel like I am doing something foreign when it comes to talking about religion & faith..maybe because I am!

Religion was never apart of my life growing up, I remember going to church when I was young with my aunt, but never really made it a part of my life and never really had faith in much until recently.  Through my journey both mentally & physically these past few months, I have begun to have faith in something.  I have noticed that the more good I do for others, the more good has come my way.  It is certainly no coincidence that good things come to those who do good things to help others...but I have, lately, more than ever been opening myself up to receiving gifts from the universe and have seen more and more things happening in my life.

People have been placed in my life lately, some who I have known for many years and some I have never met.  Every single one of these people has taught me something!!  Some have taught me about conquering my fears, some have shown me how to not make excuses, and some have taught me about faith.  They have not intentionally taught me anything, but they have.  I have met some amazing and inspirational people these past few months and I am learning more and more about myself every day.  

I feel as though the universe, or god, or something out there is placing these people in my life..for a reason!  I am struggling to find my faith, but I am still searching.  When it feels right, I will know its where I belong.  Every day on this journey, I learn something new about myself.  I am learning about where my faith lies and what I believe in.  Although, faith is a foreign feeling to me, I am beginning to be more comfortable with it.

I have also learned that anything is possible.  If you have faith and believe that you can do something, and you work hard, you CAN do it!  Trust me, I am.

OK, so this post was kind of all over the place..and did not really make any point, but I feel alot better after posting this.

XOXO,

A Pyramid Scheme...

"PYRAMID SCHEME"

"Sounds like a pyramid scheme.."

"Is this one of those pyramid things?"

"I still think its one of those pyramid things.."

We have all heard this more than once in speaking with prospective coaches. So we always ask them,

"Why do you think its a pyramid scheme"

And the responses..

"I don't know" 

"Its shaped like a pyramid"

 "Well I don't really know what a pyramid scheme is, but that is one"

And then I tell them this, "Well, I think the company you work for currently is a pyramid scheme."

Now, I am not bashing corporate america, I know some people who love working at their corporate jobs, I however, am NOT one of those people.  I have been working in the corporate world since I was 18 years old, and at 21 I decided that I had enough and no longer wanted to make minimal pay to make someone else's dream come true.  I could "work my way up the ladder" kissing every ass possible on the way up, but that was not me.  Ever since I was a kid, I dreamed of owning my own business whether it be a pub, or a bakery, or a wedding planning business.  And this year I found Beachbody, and realized that I could do some good in the world and help others while owning my own business.  

I learned that I did not need some massive savings for start up costs and I did not need bank loans or leases.  I could work out of my home and improve my health and become financially free, by helping others do the same.  My inner philanthropist loved this idea and off I went to change the world..

Are you one of those people who is crazy enough to change the world??

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Dream Big & Change The World!

And my thyroid had some other plans for me...

Happy Sunday Everybody!!

So as you all know I was up in Boston for more testing last week, and came home with a large weight off my shoulders, when the doctor said my thyroid tests looked okay and I was good to go...

The next day I received a phone call from my doctor, saying that my tests came back the opposite of what she told me and that I went from having hyperthyroid levels to really high hypothyroid levels in a 3 week span of time.  I do have thyroid disease, which can be managed with synthetic hormone treatment.  She also mentioned that I will probably have trouble conceiving and when I begin trying to conceive, I will need some additional hormones, most likely to help my body make a baby.

As some or all of you know I have always wanted to be a mom, more than almost anything. The thought that I may not be able to conceive was pretty upsetting, but I know I will overcome this, like the many other things I have overcome in my life.

This has not changed my thoughts on donating my eggs, if anything, it makes me want to help a couple even more, knowing that someday I may need someone to do the same selfless act for myself.

A year ago, I would have broke down with hearing the news and just given up, but today I am stronger!  I have faith that god will make what is meant to be, happen in my life.  I have faith that the more good I do for others, the more good will keep coming back at me, like it has so far.  
Dream Big & Have Faith!

Needles, Needles, & More Needles..

Today Jamie & I made the long drive up to Boston, well it was a long drive to us Rhode Islanders where everything in the state is no more than 30 minutes away..

I met with an endocrinologist there to discuss the abnormal blood work that was found by the doctor handling my egg donation.  She had good news, and a little bad news.  The good news is that I DO NOT have thyroid disease and I am pretty healthy, which was nice to hear after all of the work I have been putting in to improve my health. 

The bad news was what really got me thinking..

She said that I am at high risk for developing an endocrine/thyroid disorder in the future and that more likely than not I will get it.  She said that I should watch out for the warning signs and that it may cause difficulty conceiving when I decide to try and get pregnant.  She said the older I get, the harder it will be.  She did say that there are hormones that will help if I need them, but hopefully I wont.

This really got me thinking that I need to get moving on my business and getting my life to where I want it to be..and fast!  I want kids, I have always wanted to be a mom and I am determined to make that happen before it becomes too difficult.

So here is the plan..

As you all know I had a goal to be able to quit my corporate job by June of 2014 and this is still the case.  I also plan to purchase a home this year with my partner in crime and the love of my life, Jamie.  Instead of getting stressed about this, I am going to use it to motivate me, to push me.  The harder I work, the faster I will see results, and the sooner I can start building my family.

The good news is that I was cleared to go forward with my egg donation cycle which will be starting in like 5 DAYS!!!

So excited & nervous & feeling blessed.

Be Realistic

So lately I've found myself being brought down by the negative thoughts and opinions of others.  Unfortunately, I am human, just like all of you. As much as I'd like to ignore all negativity and not let others thoughts and opinions affect me, I'm not always so great at doing so..

So during my daily Pinterest therapy session I came across this quote and it made me think.  If I continue to listen to the negative opinions of others, it will not do anything but bring me down and make me doubt my decisions.  On a daily basis I hear "Be Realistic" or "Slow Down" but I am a dreamer and I would rather Dream Big and Succeed than, "Slow Down" and stay in one place.  

What is a "realistic" thought anyways, aren't all dreams realistic to any person if they are willing to put in the hard work and dedication?  I know first hand that ANYTHING is possible if you put your mind to it.  I have seen people come from the lowest of points in their lives and succeed in their "unrealistic" goals and ambitions.

Lindsay Matway taught me that no dream is too big and I CAN DO IT, no matter where I come from!  She taught me that I can have an addict parent, that I can break the cycle, and that I can put my future in the hands of god and have faith that all of this hard work that I am putting in will pay off.  What bothers me the most is that those telling me that I should "slow down" on my goals are those who are trying to reach some large goals themselves.  They however, are afraid, afraid of failure, afraid of whatever it is holding them back, and this is what I have realized.  They tell me to "be realistic" because they doubt themselves, it has nothing to do with my ambitions, it is simply their insecurities coming out towards me because they can not face their inner fears.

So here is my hope...

My hope is that those telling me to "be realistic" will learn to dream big, that they will learn to face their own personal fears and succeed; because this is exactly what I plan to do whether it is "realistic" or not.

My "Why"

As promised, I am going to share my story with all of you..We all come from somewhere, we all have a motivator in our lives which pushes us to want to better ourselves, for me it was the broken family from which I have come...

I grew up in a small town in CT with my mother,father, and 3 beautiful sisters. As some of you know I used to figure skate competitively, it was my passion and it was my one escape from the chaos that surrounded my home, and when I stopped skating at 17, I really had no escape from what I had to deal with every day of my life. When I was 13 I found out that my father was a drug addict, the emotional and verbal abuse that was endured in my home...if you could even call it home..was more than I could handle and at 17 I had decided that I had had enough and moved away from home and ventured to RI to find myself and go to college.

Nobody in my family had completed a college education, so the odds were already against me..But i continued, through the financial struggles and the stress of home that I couldn't seem to escape, no matter how many miles were between myself and my family, I pushed through and will be graduating next year with a double major.
9 months ago I decided to break my silence, that I no longer wanted to keep this secret, the secret of my fathers addiction to myself any longer. I spoke out, which as im sure you can imagine was one of the most difficult, terrifying things I had ever done...My whole world fell apart, I felt as though my walls were falling down around me and things were never going to get better... Until a few months ago!

I made a decision to get healthy, to make myself happy, and to make myself into the person that I want my future children to have as a role model...I finished a round of combat and lost some of the physical weight and emotional weight that I had been carrying around for years. My confidence and my charisma has begun to come back, and the passion for life that I had lost, I am beginning to regain. Beachbody has truly changed my life and I am so blessed and thankful for all that I have learned. My "Why" is to not become a percentage, to break the cycle, and to help others who have lost their passion for life regain it and live fulfilled!!

Thanks everyone for reading!